Monday, May 21, 2012

A mother’s lesson in fudge

Sorry I have not posted anything recently.  I so wanted to do a post for Mother's Day, and before I knew it the day was over.  However, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Grandparent’s Day or even In-Law’s Day can be any day you want to do something special for that person.

My Mom passed away seven years ago.  She dealt with cancer for seven years prior.  I think of her every day.  There are days when I want to call her and tell her what is going on in my world.  Even though I can’t call her on the phone; I still talk to her.

Recently I was trying to think of something to post about her.  I can tell you my Mom was a complicated woman.  She had complicated emotions and held so much inside.  She was a strict person; but she would fight like a mama bear to protect her five kids.  However, I wanted to write about some of our fun times, so I decided to write about “impossible fudge.”

When I was growing up we had a great lady who lived next door.  She taught me to ride a bike and was our babysitter.  She and my mother were friends.  In time, Joyce married our cousin Chuckie.  I am getting off subject again.

On Friday nights Mom and Joyce would get together, usually in the summer, and make fudge.  Okay, they would try to make fudge.  We didn’t have a candy thermometer so judging the fudge was always tricky.

I can’t tell you how many times Mom would be putting the fudge in the freezer to get it to the right consistency.  Sometimes we had fudge soup while other times we had hard tack.  It was always a waiting game to see what we would end up with for the evening. 

Fudge became the challenge, which is why I refer to it as “impossible fudge”.  Joyce would later refer to the attempts as “spoon fudge.”  What I learned from Mom’s attempts was that she did not give up.  She would try and try again almost every Friday night. 

This complicated woman with five kids taught us things that at the time we did not realize were life lessons.  Who thinks of fudge as a life lesson?  It wasn’t the fudge; it was the determination she had to keep trying. 

When Mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, I was terrified.  Mom had health issues; but I was afraid this one was just too much for her.  Well, she fought her battle with the same determination as she did her attempts at making fudge.

It was this same determination that would save my life, even after Mom was gone.  In 2010, I went through the ordeal of a ruptured appendix.  Before I could be released from the hospital, my right lung collapsed.  I was in a lot of pain and struggling to breathe and was ready to give up.  I hurt too much to keep fighting.  As I lay in the hospital bed, after making my peace with God, I just sort of collapsed into the bed.  I was sure this was the end.  As I collapsed, God and my Mom sent me a message to keep fighting.  It was just the simple unexpected thought of my Mom that brought me out of my resigned state.  If Mom would fight for her life then I should too.  And, I lay in the bed for a bit thinking of my Mom, and remembering how she did not allow the fudge to win, but tried time and time again. 

I can’t tell you if she ever got the fudge right; but I know I got her lesson.


  1. This is a beautiful story, Jan. It's even more special because it is true. God bless you and thanks for sharing this!

  2. Yes, it was a really well written piece - very moving and stimulated memories of my own mother :)
    Lillian -

  3. It sounds like you had a wonderful mother, Jan! It's great that you learned a lesson from her fudge experiences that helped you in your trying time. It's so good you have those memories, and thank you for sharing them.

  4. We learn our most powerful lessons as the most unexpected times. I'm so glad your mother's wonderful example gave you the strength and encouragement you needed. You're not done yet, girl! :)

  5. Jan,
    Thank you for writing the blog. I related to you and your life as if you were talking about my own. My mother also had five children and I was the second oldest. I grew up close to West Virginia in Pittsburgh, PA. My mother made fudge, too. I can still see us crowded around the cup filled with cool water as we watched her drop the liquid fudge in and hope that it formed a ball...if it did we had fudge!! What a great memory. My mom passed away three years ago on Aug. 3...I talk to her every day and miss her terribly. She was nurse and a very good one. When I was disabledfrom my job as an Elementary Art Teacher with Fibromyalgia and CFS in 2001, I thought my life was over. I use my love for writing to combat the mental fatigue brought on by the Fibro Fog. In 2007, I was compelled to the keyboard and I began to write a story that had been floating in my mind since I was a little girl....suddenly the immigrant girl I dreamed about had a name and place of origin and destination. I wrote my first novel, SHATTERED SEEDS:"SOFIA'S STORY". I have it published with Amazon as a self published novel. I am giving the Kindle edition away free for 24 hrs beginning on June 14, Pacific Time. I would be honored if you would download can get the link on my website Now that we are connected, we will definitely be friends for life!! lol Best wishes, Clu