Sorry I have not posted anything recently. I so wanted to do a post for Mother's Day, and before I knew it the day was over. However, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Grandparent’s Day or even In-Law’s Day can be any day you want to do something special for that person.
My Mom passed away seven years ago. She dealt with cancer for seven years prior. I think of her every day. There are days when I want to call her and tell her what is going on in my world. Even though I can’t call her on the phone; I still talk to her.
Recently I was trying to think of something to post about her. I can tell you my Mom was a complicated woman. She had complicated emotions and held so much inside. She was a strict person; but she would fight like a mama bear to protect her five kids. However, I wanted to write about some of our fun times, so I decided to write about “impossible fudge.”
When I was growing up we had a great lady who lived next door. She taught me to ride a bike and was our babysitter. She and my mother were friends. In time, Joyce married our cousin Chuckie. I am getting off subject again.
On Friday nights Mom and Joyce would get together, usually in the summer, and make fudge. Okay, they would try to make fudge. We didn’t have a candy thermometer so judging the fudge was always tricky.
I can’t tell you how many times Mom would be putting the fudge in the freezer to get it to the right consistency. Sometimes we had fudge soup while other times we had hard tack. It was always a waiting game to see what we would end up with for the evening.
Fudge became the challenge, which is why I refer to it as “impossible fudge”. Joyce would later refer to the attempts as “spoon fudge.” What I learned from Mom’s attempts was that she did not give up. She would try and try again almost every Friday night.
This complicated woman with five kids taught us things that at the time we did not realize were life lessons. Who thinks of fudge as a life lesson? It wasn’t the fudge; it was the determination she had to keep trying.
When Mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, I was terrified. Mom had health issues; but I was afraid this one was just too much for her. Well, she fought her battle with the same determination as she did her attempts at making fudge.
It was this same determination that would save my life, even after Mom was gone. In 2010, I went through the ordeal of a ruptured appendix. Before I could be released from the hospital, my right lung collapsed. I was in a lot of pain and struggling to breathe and was ready to give up. I hurt too much to keep fighting. As I lay in the hospital bed, after making my peace with God, I just sort of collapsed into the bed. I was sure this was the end. As I collapsed, God and my Mom sent me a message to keep fighting. It was just the simple unexpected thought of my Mom that brought me out of my resigned state. If Mom would fight for her life then I should too. And, I lay in the bed for a bit thinking of my Mom, and remembering how she did not allow the fudge to win, but tried time and time again.
I can’t tell you if she ever got the fudge right; but I know I got her lesson.